Friendships - Will They Last?

Can friendships made in your 20s survive into your 30s?

I'm asking a serious question here, because so far, I'm afraid the answer might be no.  This topic will more than likely be expanded upon as the weekend goes on...

Censor Yourself. Please.

Facebook was cool when it came out.  Mainly because it was only for college people.

Now everyone and their mother is on it and this whole equal opportunity makes me hate it a little bit more every day.  Gone are the days where I can just leave snarky comments at people - because now my mother - and people who know my mother - can see them.

I get yelled at for swearing on Facebook by old family members, so now I try hard not to.  Should I have to?  No.  Could I just block them?  Sure.  But that'll make family get togethers awkkkkkkward.

And let's not forget the 1000 lines in my newsfeed filled with all that woe is me, my life sucks BS.

You don't like being pregnant?  You're upset that everyone appears to have glamorous pregnancies but you can't fit in your clothes and you feel like crap?  Well next time, grab a condom.

Everyone constantly screwing you over, making your life miserable so when you aren't working you're drinking?  Get new friends.  Stop hanging out with those idiots.  Move.  Get a hobby that doesn't come with a $10k punch in the wallet when you get pulled over.

Also - I hate to tell you this - but your 8 week old baby isn't going to learn anything at an overpriced music class - outside of how to sleep through loud noises.

Here's a newsflash - I don't care how wonderful your boyfriend or husband is, and that you have to post it 5-10x a day.  Why?  Because I used to participate in that ridiculousness, and it's just a rouse to cover up that you agree with everyone - your relationship sucks.  I promise - the more you keep announcing to the world that your man is just the best man ever - there's a 99% chance he's just a gigantic douche bag.

I don't care that you're getting married for the umpteenth time.  Try something new - like staying married.

You don't have to post weather reports every day either.  I have an app for that.  I also know how to look outside my window.

You also don't have to cheer for 10+ inches of snow.  WHO CHEERS FOR 10+ INCHES OF SNOW?  Unless you're Frosty the Snowman - NO ONE CHEERS FOR 10+ INCHES OF SNOW.

NO ONE.

Could we be done with the daily selfies?  Three reasons:

1. I know what you look like.  No really - I do.  Because I see it every day.  If I were to go blind tomorrow, I would be able to remember every selfie you ever took until I die because the repetitiveness is burned into my brain.
2. Unless you turn your phone around and hope you're aiming right to take it - you look like an alien because your phones flip the image - and it's not helping you look any better.  
3. If you're going to keep posting pictures with your head posted at a weird angle because you think that some how, it makes your face look better, you better be walking through life like that or else it is just false advertising.

I hate your religious picture posts.  I hate your "make it a happy day" posts.  If I needed those sorts of pick me ups I'd go get me a "Precious Moments" desk calendar.  

I also hate your activist posts.  I think gay marriage is awesome and helping fight autism is great - but I'm not going to smother you with it.  

And if you don't want to vaccinate your kid - keep it to yourself.  Polio, measles, mumps, rubella - all of these things have been kept at bay by vaccines and in 20+ years, I don't want to see you bitch that your kid has one of these things because you're convinced that vaccines will kill you.  If we stop vaccinating against these diseases they are going to come back with a vengeance.  We didn't reach a population of 316 million people by avoiding vaccines.  We reached it by creating them, and then using them.  I fully acknowledge that there have been some bad reactions to them - but not enough to eliminate them.  

If I block any more 'friends' in my newsfeed, I'm going to no longer have a news feed.

The only reason I keep Facebook at this point is because I like seeing pictures of the cute kids my family and friends keep producing.  But even all that cuteness might not be enough to subdue the daily suppression I have to find to keep myself from calling 98% of the people in my network an idiot.

Learn to censor yourself, people.  Seriously.  It will only help you in the end.

Automatic Functions

Sometimes, I have to really resist the urge to tell people on a daily basis that if breathing wasn't an automatic function, they would die because they are too dumb to remember to breathe in and out.

I mean, obviously most people would die if breathing were an automatic function, because we don't have to remember to do it - it just happens.  But on days like today where I consistently come into contact with people that make me want to scream, I'd like to think that if breathing weren't an automatic function, I would survive and everyone else around me would die because their actions make me believe that the only automatic function they own is stupidity.

Maybe I'm becoming too harsh as I get older.

Maybe it's wishful thinking for people to get smarter.

It's Getting Warmer...

...and by warmer, I mean it's above 0 degrees.  Practically balmy considering where we've been.

My water softener malfunctioned...causing it to freeze...costing me $200 to unfreeze it so I could shower like most respectable members of society do.  They say I don't need a water softener because I live in the city, and 'city folks don't usually have them.'

Either way - I'm not having anything installed until this hellacious winter is OVER.  I'm also considering forgoing purchasing my new countertops and instead building a little sauna box around the water closet in the garage so nothing will ever freeze again.  

However, I've been lucky enough not to lose power, but I'm two days behind on what could be the worst week to be two days behind on...so we'll see how tomorrow goes.  I don't even care at this point what time I get to work - I just want to get there in one piece.

***

I took an adventure out in my car today, trying to figure out the best way to get to a main road for tomorrow.  Some jackass in a jeep was on my bumper from the moment I pulled out of my subdivision until I pulled into the next one up the road.  As this guy hauled ass around me while I turned, he spun around three times, and it would have been four had that power pole not been in the way.

Idiot.  I tried to feel bad for him - but I couldn't.  And by the three other cars that watched him spin into the pole and keep on driving, they clearly didn't feel bad for him either.  But just so you know, had I not watched you climb out of your car, looking at your jeep as if you couldn't figure out how this happened, I would have at least called 911.

Shoveling is the Devil

...especially when your driveway is steep.  Think 45 degree angle steep.

We should have thought about that driveway a bit more when I bought this house in the dead of summer.  And when I say we, I mean my dad should have looked at me and said, "Shoveling this driveway will be a bitch."

Of course, he didn't see the house until after I had the home inspector walking through the house, but I certainly won't make that mistake next time.

I hate that I'm shoveling the snow only to watch the snow just fall back onto the driveway.  However, I need to at least be able to attempt work tomorrow, and shoveling 10+ inches of snowman snow off of my driveway sounds like effort that this fat kid will not have any desire to put out - especially if it's -35 degrees.

My cat is obsessed with the snow.  I think her tiny, walnut sized brain is curious as to how she is seeing the same stuff fall out of the sky in each window.  Yes - I have all the blinds pulled up specifically so this little fur ball can witness Snowpocalypse 2014.  If you don't do what she wants, she just follows you, batting your ankles and meowing until you comply with her demands.

Her particularly favorite view is from her basket in the front window.  I asked her if she wanted to help shovel, and this was her look.  Just as well - she'd probably be terrible at it.

Oh well.  Off to shovel (again).  

Adult Supervision Not Necessary - This Time Anyway

I realize it's probably ridiculous for me to be this proud of my snow day accomplishment, but I am.  While trapped in my house thanks to Mother Nature's wrath of snow, I got brave and decided to repaint my bathroom, and then put up all the new stuff my mom and I purchased at Kohl's this past weekend.

Before, my bathroom looked something like this:

Both of the bathrooms in my home were recently redone, and in all honesty, I wouldn't have repainted this blue-gray bathroom except that I repainted all the surrounding areas some form of blue or gray.  I haven't been really firm on a lot of decisions I've made with my house - often deferring to my mother because she's much better at the decorating stuff - but a few weeks after I moved in I had the idea to paint that bathroom green.  

This is what my bathroom looks like now.  When I found the shower curtain at Kohl's, I knew it was a sign, and I'm actually quite proud of the fact that I was able to match the light green in the curtain to the light green on my wall.  The paint is Behr's 'celery sprig,' and while it doesn't look like a complete match in the photo - I promise it's identical in person.

Of course, I thought when I started this adventure that the bathroom would be a piece of cake to paint.  After all - there wasn't much wall.  

I didn't take into account all of the crap I was going to have to paint around - or in case of the toilet - behind.  This bathroom is a tiny bathroom too.  Not a lot of room was to be had for my body to somehow hug and wrap around the toilet to paint behind it.  I tried for like, ten minutes.  I really did.  But when I realized I was in a pretty good place to potentially find myself stuck without my cell phone nearby to call for assistance, I said screw it - and just blindly painted.  So far, I can't see any of the old color, but if I do (or really, if my mother does), I have a third of the gallon left to slap up on there.  

The spare bedroom next door is mostly taped up, ready to be painted.  This room is going to be three different colors...and as soon as I get up the guts to start painting it, I'll post pictures.  Two of the colors are black and pomegranate red.  The other is silver.  The black and pomegranate red are making me nervous - only because those are the two colors I have horrific visions of in regards to me somehow dumping onto the carpet.  Yes - I have plastic to put down (like, an obscene amount of plastic) - but I'm gifted when it comes to managing the impossible. 

Sometimes, I Don't Need Your Opinion

Fact:  When I'm sitting at dinner with you, talking about my house and some things I'd like to do with it this year, this is not the opportunity for you to sit there, scowl, roll your eyes, or tell me why anything that I would like to do with the house I paid for is dumb.

***

I find myself in this little scenario more and more now that I've bought my house.  At first I was really good at ignoring it.  Six months later, I'm having a hard time not being freakishly defensive any time my friend interrupts me to tell me that what I want to do with my house is a waste of time.

I get it.  I really do.  You don't like the carpet.  You think I should tear it all out because the hours and hours of your life that has been spent downing bottles of wine while watching HGTV has taught you these worldly notions.  You think my countertop ideas are stupid because my house is "common" and "cookie-cutter" and "too conventional" for my plans.  You think my desire to paint my house is dumb because you've been in your house for years and haven't painted a thing.  You hate where I live because 

I get it because it's all I ever hear about.  I don't even know why I try to talk about my house anymore.  

But while you sit there and drone on and on about how I was an idiot for buying my house on the west side (though I don't know why you care because it's not like you come visit anyway - I could live five feet from your house and I'd still be coming to you), it would be nice for you to pay attention to the fact that I never say anything remotely disparaging about your house.  I don't tell you that you should invest some money and fix your backyard fence, or that a fresh coat of paint would do wonders for the walls.  I don't tell you that if you were to invest in some new windows ask someone about better ways to insulate your house that you wouldn't have to leave it at 64 degrees in the winter to keep a relatively decent gas bill and 78 in the summer so your electric isn't through the roof.

So go ahead.  Judge me for spending money and that my hands are splattered with celery green paint that might be on my skin until the end of time.  Make fun of me for wanting to repaint the molding and my doors and for ordering and installing super snazzy light fixtures from West Elm.  

Because while you're yapping and wondering why I'd even put forth the effort, all I have to do is remind myself that I bought a nice house in a great area that I can get to and from work easily.  I have a nice backyard for my nephews to play in.  I have two full bathrooms so I can have a clean one for everyone to use and then the disaster that is the one in my bedroom that if I'm lucky - gets cleaned twice a month.  And best of all - I can keep my house warm in the winter and cold in the summer without going broke.  

But don't worry - I won't tell you any of this while you're droning on about how dumb my ideas are. Because that's just rude.  

***

Sometimes, I wish there was an internet site that would help you find new friends.  I'm more interested in that at the moment than I am about dating.